I have nothing to say

Well how about that!  I have not had time to blog lately and I really miss it.  Here I am with both boys watching a movie, munching on carmel popcorn balls and I have time to blog....Yet I have no idea what I want to blog about....Do what??  Yep....

This may be one of my most random posts EVER. 

Today was the last day of T-Ball.  Glad for the break since today was so cold.  We will all miss it though.  I will miss wathcing Bradford learn more about the sport and seeing him get excited about something new.  Daddy will miss assistant coaching...I will miss watching him do that too...Berkeley will miss playing with Izzy.  Bradford will miss seeing his teammates and having quite the cheering section.  Everytime he was up to bat, he would turn around to make sure his entourage was watching.  When I say entourage I am referring to the two sets of grandparents and any various number of aunts.  It never failed that he always had more followers than any other team member.  It kind of reminded me of Dana who told her family they were only allowed to buy her children 1 gift for Christmas and Birthdays.  No showing up with box on top of box.  Good thing there is no such rule in t-ball:  No showing up with person on top of person to see you play.  What if it was like graduating from A&M and you could only invite 5 people from you whole life to see you graduate.  Heck I have more sisters than that!  Limits just don't run in our family.  Everything is always over the top, filled to the brim, good to the last drop, bring a friend and stay awhile...

We had a ball at Bradford's bowling party on Wed.  He had lots of great friends there to play and he was on cloud 9 all day.  I still can not believe he is 5.  It seems like yesterday we were getting up at the crack of dawn to head up to the hospital.  I remember how excited Daddy was to be a daddy.  He still amazes me daily what a fantastic father he is.  I mean I always knew he would be great but he actually far exceeds my expectations.  But then again he far exceeds my expectation of an amazing husband too. 

Berkeley is just about the cutest little two year old I know.  He just makes you smile the second you meet him.  I am thankful daily that God saw fit for Berk to join our family.  What a joy. 

Well that is the end of the voices in my head on the chilly, fall eveing...Enjoy the season of thanks and giving...

What stream do you live in?

I am proud to say I dont swim in the mainsream of life.  I march to my own wild caught Alaskan Salmon stream!  So when I read Mommypotamus today I had to laugh.  Outloud.  So yes I know many mainstreamers think I am crazy.  Even my own family thinks the same at times.  I don't mind.  Although some things I do believe in, I admit to not follow religiously because I am subject to fear at times on whether or not I may be wrong.  But this is my list of things that mainstreamers find funny/odd/crazy/etc... about me:

1. A neo-natal nurse shot cucumber soup out of her nose at my friend's baby shower when I admitted our babies slept with us!
2.  I do not believe in pacifiers past the newborn stage.  Everyone deserves to have their voice heard and express themselves--especially a crying baby! 
3. I avoid the pesticide/herbicide aisle at all stores...I actually hold my breath if I have to walk past one. 
4. I believe the best way to teach children to respect others is to treat them with respect not demand it from them.
5. I dont give my kids ANY caffinated drinks.  I am surprised daily at the sheer volume of people that disagree with this one.
6. On my oldest child's 1st birthday I was worried that too much icing on his first cake would give him a tummy ache since he had never had sugar!  I still hear complaints about that birthday cake....
7. I too plan vacations around making sure I can get to Sid's in Taos--a health food store.
8. All about extened breastfeeding.  Even used it to make babies cereal. Doesn't your cream of wheat taste better when made with milk instead of water? 
9. I know fish is great for you...but only fresh water fish.  I dont eat anything farm raised.  The thought of it creeps me out!
10. I dont eat veggies or fruit out of a can.  I dont freeze anythhing more than a couple days and never pork--freezing only slows the aging process.  It does not stop it.  (some things direct from the processor that are vaccumm packed are different)

I am really not so different in my own head...

How do you know?

Yes I am the proud mommy/mom/mother/mama of not 1 but 2 boys!  How do I know?  Let me count the ways....

1.  Not only are there rocks in my dryer, there is sand and dead worms.
2. You know all the ways to make crashing noises with your mouth and there are like 82 ways!
3. NOTHING is safe!  EVERYTHING will be used in a bathroom experiment.  Amazing what happens when you mix toothpaste, $100+ a bottle parfum, hairgel, baby lotion, deodorant and a tampon..
4. "Fire is a magnet" is an understatment....fire, fireplace, firepit, magnifying glass, matches, wood, oven, gas stove, charcoal, ANYTHING that can cause fire is a thing of beauty.
5. They completely undress to go to the bathroom.  And don't re-dress when finished using the bathroom.
6. You hear yourself saying, "Where are your underwear?  Please go put them back on.  We have company."
7. You hear things like, " Mom, I don't need a shower.  I washed off in the fountain."
8. You say things like, "Please don't eat that." or "Stop drinking that."  And THAT is usually something like PlayDough water.
9. You know exaclty what PlayDough water is!
10. You have matchbox cars in your make-up bag, Thomas the train in your handbag and Legos in your tote bag.
11. You have given up keeping that Ralph Lauren $200 a roll wallpaper in your kitched pristene.  Now you just plan to replace it before you sell your house.
12.  You no longer blink when a 2 year old asks you if you have a penis.
13.  And when asked by a 4 year old "Mom if you dont have a penis then how does your tee-tee come out?" you actually have an answer...
14. You pray every day that yours is not the child that says the infamous line in Kindergarten Cop: Boys have penis' and girls have vaginas!!!

Confessions from this working Mom

Some women love doing laudry.  Some women love cleaning their house until it shines.  Some women love yard work.  Some women love cooking.  Some women love_____.  Fill in the blank with whatever you want.  The great thing is we can all love different things and it does not make any of us right or wrong.  It makes us all different and requires us to respect those differences and similarities because if we can not accept each other as we are then we have a host of other issues to deal with--more than just a dusty bookcase.  So I happen to fall into the non-laudry, non-house cleaning loving group.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a clean house and a great house keeper and I LOVE that my amazing husband finds laudry relaxing.  (I know that is so crazy, right?)  I just dont enjoy doing it, but I will and I do.  And I gladly take any and all help I can get with it! 

I am the kind of person that an entire day home with my kids, would find me on the floor playing puzzles or trains or whatever they wanted, a;ways cooking and squeezing in blogging.  Not really focusing on other domesticated things that need my attention.  My career changes have recently gotten in the way of me being much of a blogger lately, too. 

The thing about my life as a part-time stay at home/part time working mom, was that I always seemed to be running around chaotic.  As much as I tried to set specific hours or days would work, I continually found myself racing from preschool drop-off, to the office, to a client meeting to, back to pick-up by 2pm and sometimes back to the office.  Or on days that we did not have school, I would try and plan the entire day making sure the boys had naps.  Which meant I was either going into the office early and trying to be home by lunch or leaving right after lunch and coming home by dinner.  Either way I was always running.  And the boys well they never knew when I was coming or going which yeilded to some super clingy days. 

Oddly now that I am working full time and leaving early but comming home early most days too, they know exaclty where I am and when I am coming home.  And SURPRISE: everyone is actually more relaxed with this.  It seems like my new found stable schedule has rubbed off on the boys.  Who knew?  Looking back I kind of think I was failing miserably at trying to do it all.  Nothing got 100% of me; not work, not Brandon, not the boys!  And not even myself.  So here is to consistancey.  Historically I have only been consistant about that fact that I was always busy, well and that I was never consistant.  Does that make sense?  I seem to be getting more done these days...so far we have organzied the garage, taken MULTIPLE loads to donate, organized the attic, rented storage unit, sorted Berks "too small" clothes, reorganized his closet and drawers, and planned Bradford's 5th Birthday Events!!!  So more to come....(And this is not getting spell checked...

My 100th Post

Not to be confused with my 100th blog written...because there are about 30 unpublished posts in my draft box.  My brain works on overtime but sometimes those thoughts are not publish worthy.  Trust me.  Unless you are a licensed therapist, you dont even want to open that bag of worms.  So what is on my mind these days?  Oh so much.  But after a marathon reading session that ended at 2:15 this morning of Eat, Pray, Love, I am strongly strectching the brain muscles this morning.  I am letting things go, relaxing the "Adaptaion" voices that talk back and forth, out of turn, rudely interrupting one another. 

With all that said, I am starting a new path.  (I do this occasionally.)  I gave up meat last week.  Not just red meat this time but pork and chicken.  I ended on quite a high note mind you--with Paul (soon to be Uncle Paul) breaking in the new Green Egg on some of the best Backyard BBQ ribs EVER!  Fish is still on the menu for now.  Not going straight vegan.  I might go into a coma if I had to give up dairy.  Besides with soy/tofu NOT on my list of edible I need my cheese and eggs.  I really have no major reason I can give you for this new path this time.  It was not because of my Animal Science class tour of the Meat Science Lab at A&M this time.  It was not because I had to use a bell scraper on a pig carcass this time.  It was not because I had to watch video of cow being processed this time.  It was not because I had a front row seat to the actual sausage making steps this time.  It was not a dire step to get my weight to under 110 this time.  (Not looking for that number any more) It was not to prove any kind of humane point this time. 

It is just because I decided to do it.  And oddly I don't even think about it, no craving, no "I wish", no crabby mood.  I am sure it won't last forever-the no meat thing not the no crabby mood part.  Just giving it a try.  We will see...

Anyway, lots more new things going on in the Arnold House with my career shift.  More on that later.  We are adjusting better than I thought we would.  And of course the new paycheck doesn't hurt.  I can say that after all these years and all that Zanex I am getting pretty good at flying "drug-free"!  Guess laying down those control issues that you never really had control of anyway has it's perks! 

Where did my baby go?

Everyone says little girls are so fun because you can dress them up like a baby doll.  No one tells you that you can do the same thing with baby boys!  And boy oh boy did I.  Have you seen all the photos of my boys in smocking and bubble suits?  What about the velvet overalls at Christmas?  Or Bradford's red silk Christmas shortalls he wore when he met Santa(see below).  Nothing is sweeter than a toddler in knee socks.  I always say they have their whole life to dress like a grandpa or a Frat Daddy!  Why do it at 9 months?  I remember one day Brandon came home and I showed off some pictures I had taken of Bradford.  After viewing all of them Brandon noted the many different outfits Bradford was wering in all the pics.  He asked, "Did you play dress up with him?"  Of course!

With all that said Bradford has drawn a line in the sand.  He is NOT wearing anything that remotely looks like a baby?  "Mom I don't want to wear that one anymore.  You can give it to Berk." If I am not careful he may even give up his preppy look too soon for me too. 

The icing on the cake was when he showed up at his first T-Ball practice this week in a striped Polo t-shirt and Gap shorts.  In NO uncertain terms we WILL be buying basketball shorts, "daddy socks" (the no show athletic socks Dad wears to the gym) and "work-out" shirts.  All per my 4-almost 5 year old!  No fancy clothes please for practice anymore.  It all started with his hair last year.  "Mom this is how I want my hair cut..." Next it will be "Mom this is where I want to go to college..."

blubber blubber

I logged onto a friend's blog for an update on her miscarriage grief tonight.  Then after clicking on blog after blog link, I now can hardly see from all the tears.  I know I know, Brandon reminds me frequently I should not watch the news because it makes me so sad.  Well I am thinking the same goes for sad blogs.  Actually my sweet husband just checked on me again and said to please stop reading those.  But you know when you understand someone's grief so profoundly you feel like you owe it to them to support them even if only by "listening" to them spill their hearts out via blogging.  So if ever you need a friend to lend an ear sometimes blogging can the best answer we have to offer.  I believe the only way to grieve a loss like this is to Grieve Outloud.  Every face of loss also has a face of hope.  Many prayers and hugs to you all tonight...Love,